Interview w/ Nicole Boychuk from I Hate Sex
By Nick Caceres
Published 08/23/2024
When picturing Edmonton, AB, the polarizing edge of Screamo wouldn’t be the first cultural marker, however throughout the past decade there has been a steady drip of bands coming out of this region, I Hate Sex situated at the forefront.
Though only active between 2015 to 2018, I Hate Sex served as a major creative outlet for the poetry and personal life of Nicole Boychuk, who is regarded as a prominent figure when it comes to female-fronted Screamo, her distraught vocals bordering on Emoviolence. Anyone in the know can attest to the intense shows of IHS with Boychuk screaming in their face just feet away, spotlighting the destruction of relationships; an excellent evening. It’s no surprise how the IHS fanbase and recognition have grown within the genre, even years after the band had officially split for good.
However, screamo is not where Boychuk’s creative ambitions concentrate. Throughout and after IHS, Boychuk has managed to give back to the Edmonton community through organizing music festivals, working for non-profits and hosting a long running film series, aimed at examining a common trope.
The following interview was conducted over email during August, where we covered Boychuk’s film series, career and, of course, I Hate Sex.
Picture of Nicole Boychuk
Photo Courtesy of Nicole Boychuk
Nick: Who are you and what do you do?
Nicole: Hello, my name is Nicole Boychuk and for the purpose of the interview, I am the vocalist of the now defunct Canadian Screamo band, I Hate Sex.
Nick: Before we jump into music, I want to spend some time on a recent endeaver of yours that is local to the Edmonton area and to kick that off, what is the trope of the “Final girl” and what are some issues you have with that concept?
Nicole: The “Final Girl” trope is about the last woman standing in a horror film, the one who defeats the killer and survives. It’s problematic because it often boxes women into a certain type of role, one that’s only defined by their survival. It strips away the complexities of female characters and punishes those who don’t fit into that mold.
Nick: What project originated out of this concept?
Nicole: The “Not Your Final Girl Film Series” was born out of a desire to showcase films that challenge or subvert that trope. It’s been running every October since 2017 at Metro Cinema, Edmonton’s only independent cinema.
Nick: As the coordinator, curator and marketer for “Not Your Final Girl Film Series,” how busy has this endeavor been for you?
Nicole: In the Fall it feels busier, but I watch 200+ movies a year, so it feels like I am always doing research for the series. It’s all volunteer work, which means that I’m doing it out of pure love for the genre, independent film and cinemas. I’m also on the Board of Directors and the Chair of the Programming Committee for the same theatre, so yeah, it keeps me busy!
Nick: What were some of your personal favorite films that you had the pleasure of showcasing through this project?
Nicole: Bringing the 4k re-release of the 1981 cult classic, “Possession,” to Edmonton for the first time for two sold-out screenings was incredible. Another favorite was showing “Ms. 45” in our second year, which was special because it was the first time my family came to Metro to see something I curated. Both films are quintessential “Not Your Final Girl” material and showcase the vibe of the overall series very well.
Not Your Final Girl Film Series Logo
Image Courtesy of Facebook
Nick: With all of that said, probably the biggest reason people will flock to this interview is the band you were the vocalist for I Hate Sex, which was one of the more well-known screamo outfits out of Canada. Before we jump into that, what band inspired you to pursue being a screamo vocalist at a more serious level?
Nicole: Honestly, it wasn’t that serious at first. None of us had any grand expectations. I just wanted to play shows and engage more fruitfully in the scene that had already given me so much, most notably, seeing Mahria and La Luna at Ghost Throats DIY Music Festival (now defunct) in 2013. When IHS began, the post-hardcore scene was really blossoming…Here is a facebook post from Andrew, of Ghost Throats, published following our 2015 set at Ghost Throats.
"I hold Ghost Throats dear to my heart, because it was at Ghost Throats that I first saw a non-dude playing in a band and I realized I could do it too" - Nicole, I Hate Sex
“When I heard those words spoken last night from a band that would quickly become one of my new favorites within minutes of playing their first song of their set, I was pretty overcome with emotion. All too often, Ghost Throats is source of stress, frustration and anxiety, and it's easy to forget that it's not really about how I experience this scrappy little underdog fest. It’s what Ghost Throats means to everyone who continues to support this endeavor. While it’s amazing to watch the bands play, I think my favorite part of Ghost Throats is watching the crowd. Seeing members of Mahria watch I Hate Sex with a huge grin on their faces, realizing someone has picked up right where they left off; or seeing all the girls in the room push their way to front and all the guys respectfully making room for them; or seeing a whole room of kids stare, mouths open, as La Luna tears into jam after jam; or watching a bar full of musicians realize that Weird Year is the coolest fucking band in the city: or even better, watching a room full of veteran musicians watch Teeth, a band that has been playing their instruments for a fraction of the time most have, put on terrifying and emotionally devastating show that rivals any band in the city. Those are the parts of Ghost Throats that stick with me. I’m so proud and honored to know that a festival that grew out of late night conversations about how to showcase our nerdy emo bands 7 years ago has had an impact on this community. While I continue to regrettably drift further away from that community as I get older, nights like last night pull me back in and reaffirm how I’ve felt about DIY communities for the past 16 years of my life. It’s rewarding and valuable and worth fighting for. Thank you to everyone who helps out year after year. Thanks to all the bands who graciously play for little to no money just to be part of something they feel is important. I don’t know if there will be an eight year of Ghost Throats, but yesterday definitely makes it easier to imagine there will be.”
I also took a lot of inspiration from Henry Bemis is a Superhero…, and a lot of the bands on Too Far Gone at the time.
Nick: Did you have any previous experience with that type of vocal style before IHS?
Nicole: Nope, I Hate Sex was my first dive into that vocal style. That’s part of why “Circle Thinking” sounds the way it does—raw and unfiltered.
Nick: With that, what was the story behind the formation of I Hate Sex? How did you guys come up with that utterly unforgettable name? I’m pretty sure the only other name for a screamo outfit that haulted me in my tracks was City of Caterpillar.
Nicole: It’s not the most thrilling origin story. Ashton (guitar) and I met on our first day of university. I remember he flipped me off, and I thought, "Hell yeah, this person is going to be my friend." I was learning bass at the time and wanted to start a band and since he played guitar, it felt like a good fit. We bonded over shared musical interests, like American Football. I had met our eventual bass player at a Descendents show a year earlier through a mutual friend and we found our drummer through a post on Facebook. As for the name, it came from a joke. Ashton, two friends and I had a group chat in university where we’d just shoot the shit during class. One day, I said, "I hate sex," about something we were talking about and added, "name of my emo band I don’t have yet." When it came time to actually name the band, I threw it out there, and everyone was like, "Yeah, sure, that works." It sounded silly, edgy and punk, so we ran with it.
Nick: The first release was, coincidentally, me and many people’s introduction to IHS, “Circle Thinking.” I know that the first tracks ever written for IHS are on this thing, being “One By Metallica” and “January 24.” Since you were the sole writer for IHS, what types of themes were present on these initial tracks?
Nicole: When I write, I like to imagine an inner world, sort of like where you go when you dream, where emotions, feelings and ideas can shape reality. I think of this as "the space between us." When I was writing the first two tracks for “Circle Thinking,” I revisited some old poetry I had written a year or so earlier, but I let those ideas evolve into something new, which then became lyrics.
Nick: Did those same themes remain the same for the rest of the EP or were slight tweaks made? If so, why?
Nicole: Yes, I think so! I definitely wrote the lyrics for someone specifically to read and hear, so there are a lot of personal references that only that person would have understood. There is a comment on the song, “San Francisco,” on Genius which I think perfectly explains what the album is about, lyrically…
“I’d say this song is about watching someone you love self-destruct and knowing you can’t stop them. The narrator is bitter towards the subject, angry at them for continually hurting themself even when they know it hurts everyone else around them. But in the end, we see the narrator show love for this person and wish they knew what they were worth.”
I Hate Sex - "Circle Thinking" (2015) EP Cover
Image Courtesy of Bandcamp
Nick: Along with “Circle Thinking” there was also a small release through the now defunct, Driftwood Tapes, of some of the demos behind the EP. Why were only two of the tracks off of that EP in this and not the entire thing? Were those demos scrapped after the final versions were recorded?
Nicole: The Driftwood Tapes demo was our first release, not an afterthought. We recorded those demos with minimal equipment in a basement, and they were rough cuts of “January 24” and “Sleep Paralysis.” Those made it onto “Circle Thinking” in their final form, but the demos were always meant to be just that – demos to sell at our first show.
I Hate Sex - "Demos" (2015) EP Cover
Image Courtesy of Rate Your Music
Nick: I’d also like to bring up your split with Low Level as well. I noticed that the sound of the IHS tracks on this thing had a more punchy sound in comparison to “Circle Thinking.” Was there a reason for that shift in sound?
Nicole: When we recorded the songs from the demo, we were still a fairly new group. I think we were still trying to find our sound.
Nick: I also really liked the spoken word approach to these tracks. Why did you decide to take that approach along with the vocals the fans were already familiar with?
Nicole: Bands like La Dispute and Old Gray had a huge impact on me as a teenager, especially in how they incorporated spoken word into their music. It felt like a natural way to convey different emotions—proving that not everything needs to be loud to make an impact. Lyrics are poetry and since I was still figuring out my vocal style at the time, the spoken word approach allowed me to explore that in a different way.
I Hate Sex & Low Level - "Split Tape W/ Low Level" (2015) EP cover
Image Courtesy of Bandcamp
Nick: Could you explain the other two split releases you did and how IHS found their way onto those track lists?
Nicole: The Algae Bloom / Black Knight Satellite split came together because we played a show and was put up by members of BKS while we were on tour in 2015 in the Vancouver/Victoria, BC area. We became buds and because the Canadian Screamo scene was relatively small at the time, doing a split with them made sense. They also were such a great band. Same idea with Algae Bloom, they were fans of IHS & BKS, and we were fans of them, so it made sense. We recorded the song for that split without a bass player, and the sound engineer for that track filled in for us during recording. I can’t remember how the five way split came to be, honestly.
Image Courtesy of Bandcamp
Image Courtesy of Bandcamp
Nick: Finally, there is the first and only full-length album in the IHS discography. Looking at the themes of this release, are they part of a continuing story from “Circle Thinking” or did “World of Grief” have separate lyrical themes?
Nicole: “World of Grief” felt like both a continuation and a shift in direction. While it revisits the pain and loss that defined “Circle Thinking,” it delves deeper into those emotions with a more mature perspective. “Circle Thinking” was largely about losing a significant relationship, but by the time I was writing “World of Grief,” I was going through a lot of personal growth and reflection. I was dealing with the end of an important friendship and another breakup, which inevitably found their way into the lyrics, adding new layers to the themes of love and loss.
Nick: Not sure if it’s just me but “World of Grief” seemed to have a more vintage Screamo sound than earlier IHS releases. Which strains of that early style did “World of Grief” possibly pull from?
Nicole: That’s interesting! People usually say that about “Circle Thinking,” not “World of Grief.” We didn’t intentionally pull from any specific early Screamo styles that I can think of, but I think as we grew as a band, our influences naturally started to shape our sound in different ways. For example, when we were recording “World of Grief,” our sound engineer, Doug Organ, made a “Sabotage” by the Beastie Boys x “A Certain Kind of Luck” by I Hate Sex remix. Individually, we all listened to different music from one another and that influenced our sound.
I Hate Sex - "World of Grief" (2017) album cover
Image Courtesy of Bandcamp
Nick: Now of course, you guys, played a plethora of shows, going as far as touring internationally in Europe and Japan. Starting with Japan, what were some of the highlights of touring in that country? Any fun stories from over there?
Nicole: Touring Japan was so fun! It was such a surreal experience having our second tour on the opposite side of the world, which really shows the reach and power of the genre. That’s one of the things I love most about screamo—it’s a niche genre, but the passion within the community is intense and worldwide. That was almost 10 years ago now, so my memory is a bit foggy…I remember it was incredibly hot while we were there – I don’t think I stopped sweating the entire time. The hospitality for bands in Japan and Europe is unmatched, truly something special. One of my favorite memories is from after our show in Osaka. We had planned to sleep in a pod hotel, but when we arrived around 1 a.m., the front desk took one look at us (I Hate Sex, Shirokuma, and Iill) and claimed they didn’t have the room, even though we had reservations. Suddenly, we had no place to stay and with 10 people, sleeping in the van wasn’t an option. We ended up finding two very different places to crash for the night. Shirokuma got a room in a “Love Hotel,” while I Hate Sex ended up at an internet café. In between the noise, the walking around and the unclear shower times, I think we managed about four hours of sleep that night. I also remember that one of the show runners had brought us to their restaurant after the show and stayed up SO late on a weeknight preparing us an incredible vegan dinner. It was one of the nicest gestures I’ve experienced!
Nick: Who was that show runner who owned that restaurant? To your knowledge, are they still in business?
Nicole: I don’t remember, I’m sorry!
[getdisowned]. (2016, September 11). i hate sex - one by metallica (08.27.2016) [Video].
[getdisowned]. (2016, September 11). i hate sex - old new girlfriend / january 24 (08.20.2016) [Video].
[まーちおぶでぃあー]. (2016, August 22). i hate sex@奈良油坂SUN ROCK Cafe [Video].
Nick: What about Europe? Any highlights or fun anecdotes from that part of the world?
Nicole: Europe was very similar in hospitality. We planned our tour around playing at the Miss The Stars Fest in Germany and we were able to meet up with Darren, who had just released “World of Grief” on his label, Dog Knights. It was crazy experiencing a DIY festival at that scale. It worked as a really well-oiled machine, but had this amazing vibe to it. I will never forget that show because it was the largest audience we’ve played for.
Nick: One performance in particular was filmed and documented by Spencer Pries from SCOPED EXPOSURE during the final year of I Hate Sex at the home base, Edmonton. Was that one of your last shows and if so, what were the emotions like at the time?
Nicole: Yes, that Brianfest show was our last show in Edmonton and it doubled as Byron’s moving away show (He was in two or three other bands at the time). The emotions were all over the place—excitement, nostalgia, sadness. It was a mix of being proud of what we’d done and knowing that it was the end of something special. I believe it was also the final Good Grief Collective show, so it was an emotional day for sure. We definitely packed the venue over capacity and the show pushed out into the parking lot. We were also dumb and wanted to serve vegan food to raise money for a community organization as we often did with most GGC shows…so we had ovens going for hours before the show began, making the venue like 35+ Celsius.
Nick: Who was the older woman at the front of the crowd. Was she one of the moms as speculated by the commenters?
Nicole: That was my mom, actually! My parents are my number one fans, and we still laugh about how she’s become a part of I Hate Sex mythology.
[SCOPED EXPOSURE]. (2018, August 28). I HATE SEX - Brianfest 07/28/2018 [Video].
Nick: I know that during this time, you an a few of your peers were running a community organization called Good Grief Events Collective which tied in very nicely with the whole music aspect of your life. Why did you want to start that organization and who did you launch it with?
Nicole: Good Grief Events Collective was born out of a desire to create a space for heavy music in Edmonton and take the load off of some local show promoters who were starting to feel burnt out. I started it with a few friends and community organizers who were also involved in the local scene. We wanted to put on shows and events that felt inclusive and community-driven.
Nick: How successful was Good Grief Events Collective and what impact did it have during it’s duration?
Nicole: It was pretty successful as far as DIY show promotion goes. We managed to bring a lot of people together and put on some really meaningful events. The impact was mostly in how it fostered a sense of community within the local scene and provided the space to continue fostering the heavy music scene in Edmonton.
Good Grief Collective logo
Image Courtesy of Facebook
Nick: You were also attending college during the first half of IHS right? What career were you pursuing?
Nicole: Yeah, I was studying Arts and Cultural Management (which is a fancy name for non-profit business management) at the time. I was juggling being a full-time student, the band and three jobs at the time which was a lot. I’m genuinely not sure how I managed that…but I wouldn’t change a thing!
Nick: What college did you attend at the time if you don’t mind me asking?
Nicole: I was attending Macewan University.
Nick: What direction did your career take you post-graduation?
Nicole: Post-graduation, I worked as a Communications Manager, Guest Experience Supervisor, Events Coordinator etc. at various art and nonprofit organizations, ultimately landing where I am now working in Communications as a civil servant.
Nick: Returning to music, why did I Hate Sex split up in 2018?
Nicole: There were a lot of factors. I was feeling burned out after several lineup changes and our drummer was moving away for school. Our new guitarist and I talked about taking the band in a new direction, but with him living three hours away and also planning to move for grad school, it just didn’t seem feasible. I made the call to end it before it fizzled out on its own.
Nick: By any chance, do you remember what direction you guys had in mind?
Nicole: Something heavier, darker and faster but still really pretty.
Nick: Has there ever been an attempt to revive the band post-breakup? If so, what type of release do you think would have materialized out of that?
Nicole: There has not. I toy around with the idea of an I Hate Sex reunion for some festival shows sometimes, but it’s not something that would be easy, and I’m at a point in my life where I like things that are easy. I think if we continued on as a band, we would have ended up going towards the more blackened–screamo-shoegaze sound.
Nick: What are you planning on doing in the future, whether it’s screamo or other creative work?
Nicole: I’m not sure yet, but I’m always open to a good idea. I’m a creative person, whether it’s music, film stuff, illustrating or researching/writing my semi-monthly newsletter about film, art, culture and the occult, amongst other things. I’d love to do something musically again, but I shy away once I am reminded of how much work it is!
Nick: Any final remarks?
Nicole: Just a big thank you to everyone who supported I Hate Sex and continues to do so. It means more than you know. There is that one Joyce Manor lyric, “Just find something to do and then do it.” which I think is great wisdom I like to bestow on anyone who asks. Keep supporting your local scenes, and don’t be afraid to create!